JCC at the Milk Maid pub, Willingham Cambridge, 2nd May 1998:
A strange but excellent performance in an unusual venue. It didn't seem
possible, sat in my plastic chair along with 50 others in the “country and western” annex of the Milk Maid pub, that I was about to see John Cooper Clarke. Having seen him in student bars and night clubs, or rubbing shoulders with New Order, The Smiths and Mark “God-ike genius” Smith, in this place I was expecting someone to swagger on with a guitar and cover some Johny Cash.
I checked my ticket stub, “John Cooper Clarke. 2nd May 1998 8.00pm. £6.00. No. 20”, and was reassured by a short but still too lengthy introduction. The unmistakable, practiced and relaxed master of anecdote, spot on jokes, and oh yes, that brilliantly witty poetry, stepped onto the “stage” and made himself at home. At twelve feet by six feet, the stage was tiny, but still ample for the annorexic Clarke to wander about.
Settled by chat, jokes, chat and more jokes, we were treated to a two hour session which included around twenty poems, including Psycle Sluts, Teenage Werewolf, Health Fanatic, Tom Jones, Haiku, Beasely Street and so on. Alas, no Suspended Sentence, but surrounded by baldness, wives and the odd tweed jacket, it just didn't seem right to shout out “Bring Back Hanging” or “Twat”. Twat did arrive though, along with the superb I Married A Monster from Outer Space. Unfortunately, Salomey Maloney was obviously washing her
barnet tonight.
Some noted a lack of atmosphere in the place, longing for the classic Clarke heckler exterminations such as “I can't hear you mate.... your mouth's full of shit”, but this fan thought it was more than made up for by the opportunity for ramblings which explored his supposed medical vocation, past marriages, brushes with the law, and observations on wedding food. Respectful examination of the Cowboy decor, antics with the microphone stand, and games with the attrocious “dalek” sound system surrounded short sithes of classic Clarke wit: “A wedding is a funeral where you can smell
your own flowers”... “even the cake was in tiers”, and a visit to the “Jewish-Irish criminal law firm, Leevy Malone” all lodged firmly in my mind.
This was an excellent way to spend six quid and two hours. Maybe six hours and two quid would have been better, but Chicken Town, The Business, and worthy applause saw JCC off the stage to chat and shake hands with folks on the way out. I swear he said “Thanks Mark” as I filed by, but everything else had been too surreal for that to seem out of place until I was in the car park persuading everyone we really should have a pint before going home.
And did I mention that the “tweed jacket” had a copy of 'Ten Years In An Open Necked Shirt' nestled in the pocket. Take care folks, and keep a Clarke poem close at all times.
John Cooper Clarke appeared without support at the Milk Maid pub, Willingham near Cambridge, 2 May 1998. He was very good, but didn't have any CDs to sell.
Written for the JCC web site by Mark Hughes (Copyright 1998)