Simply not the kind of day an accident could happen
Help... Help... I've cut meself and can't stop the blood
I'm sorry, I'll have a help
I'll get help
No... No.. No Don't go
whoo whooh... choo choo
That man could have cut an artery and bled to death before Bill could get help
Don't you be like Bill
Join the St. John Ambulance Reserve
A lovely day for Bill to drive to work
LYRICS © JOHN COOPER CLARKE
UPDATE: Although John recites this on Ou Est..., I'm told it's actually from an old public information film (circa 1960's) and John would quote from it for a laugh.